Local man calls in sick after discovering long time friend owns a snake.

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Area resident Casey Douglas called in sick Wednesday morning after discovering his long time friend and neighbor owns a snake. The 31 year old software developer revealed that he needed the day off to wrap his head around this mornings events. We caught up with Douglas at his home earlier this afternoon.

“I’m still in shock. I’ve known this guy for what 15 years and all of a sudden he lets it slip in a text message that he has a pet snake?”

“At first I was sure it was a mistake, I even responded with “what snake?” I thought he would find that funny and then correct his typo or something. But no. My closest friend owns a snake.”

“I took the day off to reevaluate my life, really.”

Douglas was visibly distraught as he paced around trying to recount the events from earlier in  the day. We asked if he could help us better understand the impact of the situation.

Image by Robert Tennant

by Robert Tennant

 

“Well remember when you were a kid and you had that one friend whose dad owned an iguana? He probably had a ponytail? I’m friends with that dad now. I just don’t know if I can allow myself to be associated with this.”

“[It’s like] I’m guilty by association. All of a sudden I feel like I’m part of a gang of motor cycling bikers, with beards and tattoos. My god, if he shows me some tattoo that’s it. I’m sorry. I’m out.”

Now a panicked Douglas. “I’m almost 31 years old. I still need a girlfriend. What have people been thinking of me? There’s probably people out there that know my friend and then see me, and I’m hanging out with the snake guy. It’s just too much.”

By Tim Casion, Contributing Author

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